Not Constructive: Red Eyes MC Series Book #6 Read online

  “First of all, most of those idiots die in gang violence and shit like that,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Or drug deals gone wrong. I’m not involved in that kind of stuff. And moreover, what the hell would I put in my will?”

  Maddie raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that you have a business and you need to leave it to someone? Or are you just planning on me being out of a job and the bank foreclosing on the building?”

  “I doubt you’re still going to be working here by the time I die,” I said. “You’d get too cynical. You’re going to leave and find something else to do with your life eventually.”

  “You do realize that I studied embalming, don’t you?” Maddie asked. “There aren’t a lot of jobs where my skills are particularly useful. I’m not so into taxidermy.”

  I shrugged and glanced away, before meeting her gaze again. “Look, I sat down with a guy once. You know, one of those lawyer types.”

  “‘One of those lawyer types’?” Maddie asked. “Please tell me you didn’t find him on an infomercial.”

  “No, of course not. He was a friend of a friend. Anyway, things were going well. We were figuring out all the legal jargon and coming up with my will. But then he asked me who I would want to leave everything to, and I just couldn’t think of anyone to list.” I shrugged. “It would be easier to come up with someone now that Sam’s in the picture, but he’s so young that he wouldn’t really understand any of it anyway. He definitely wouldn’t care what color shirt I was wearing for the funeral. And besides, I never have time to schedule something like that now. What with running a business and being a single mother and all.”

  I paused, looking away from her again. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe the only reason I’m any good at this job is because there’s no one I care about enough that I could ever empathize with how these grieving widows feel. But that also means it’s impossible for me to come up with a will, because I don’t expect anyone is going to care that much about me once I’ve kicked the bucket. Like I said, throw me in the river. No one will mind.”

  Maddie gave me a disappointed look, but she seemed to realize that there was no arguing with me about it. She shrugged, her lips drawn tight together. “Well, I think that’s a pretty miserable way to live,” she said simply. “And I’m sure that you’ll find someone eventually. You have to have some guy on your radar, right?”

  “Of course not,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Guys are cowards. And besides, I only need one man in my life.”

  “The relationship you have with Sam is not the kind of relationship that I’m talking about,” Maddie said.

  “Speaking of Sam,” I said, glancing down at my watch, “it’s about time I went and got him. Would you mind finishing up with this guy here? White shirt, black shirt, widow informed or not, I don’t care. Just make him presentable for the funeral.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Maddie said, waving her hands at me. “You get out of here. You’re more of a distraction than a help anyway.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her and went to get changed into my real clothes.

  When I got to the school, Sam was already sitting out front waiting for me with the rest of his class, all in a line with his teacher. He jumped to his feet and bounded toward my car as I pulled up, giving his teacher a wave. I got out of the car and went around to help him in, giving him a big hug before I did so. “Hey, little man,” I said. “How was school today?”

  “It was the best,” Sam said, but before he could elaborate, he wrinkled his nose. “Did you touch a dead body today?”

  I laughed. “How could you tell?” I asked.

  “You smell funny,” Sam said, and when I went to give him another hug, he squirmed away. “Mommy, that’s gross,” he said.

  I laughed and scooped him up to put him in his car seat, ignoring the way that he wriggled around. He was only five, and right now, it was easy enough to overpower him. Soon, I was going to have to figure out some better way to greet him. Why didn’t anyone make a perfume that covered up the smell of formaldehyde?

  “You know, the weather’s so nice, I was thinking that we could have a picnic in the park tonight. How does that sound?” I asked Sam as I got into the driver’s seat.

  “Yeah!” Sam cheered from the back seat.

  I grinned as I put the car in drive, already compiling a mental list of what we would need at the store. I forgot all about white shirts versus black shirts. Sam was my whole world, and when I was him, it was like nothing else mattered except his happiness.

  3

  Cameron

  No one ever liked hanging out in a hospital waiting room. It wasn’t like I was the first person to hate the medicinal smell of the place or the somber mood. I hated the waiting part of it more than anything. We’d all been sitting here for hours now, just hoping to hear some news about Ray before they kicked us out for the night. He’d had a rough twenty-four hours, and they weren’t even letting us in to see him. Braxton and Landon had managed to get in there that afternoon, but they were only in there for about ten minutes before the doctors flooded the place and demanded more room.

  They’d headed out immediately. They didn’t want to get in the way of the doctors when it came to saving their father’s life. Whatever words they’d exchanged with Ray, they weren’t spoken of now.

  As for me, I had to talk to Grant about what Ray had said the previous day.

  “I just don’t know if I’m ready,” Grant muttered under his breath as he once again dropped into the chair next to me that evening. He was back from vending machines again, but this time, he was empty-handed. “God, I could go for a smoke right now,” he said.

  “Want one?” Braxton asked, holding out a pack, but Grant shook his head.

  “I promised that I wasn’t going to use cigarettes as a crutch to help me through all of this,” he said.

  Braxton rolled his eyes, and I fought to keep from smiling. Some of the things that Grant said just sounded so cutely naive. Like cigarettes were the worst of his problems.

  “Come on,” I said, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “You’re going to do fine.”

  “I bet that’s Ray’s final, dying thought,” Grant said bitterly, lowering his voice so that Braxton and Landon wouldn’t overhear him. “He’s probably lying in there thinking about what a horrible mistake he’s made in choosing me as his successor.”

  “Of course he’s not,” I said. Lord, we were going to have big problems if Grant talked himself into thinking that he had failed before he even became president of the club. “You know, Ray and I had a conversation about you yesterday. And we both are confident in your ability to lead the club. We also know that you’re a little nervous about it since you may not have the experience that some of the other guys have had. But we’re here to help you with whatever you need along the way. To give you a little guidance whenever you feel uncertain.”

  God, those words were so fucking patronizing, and I totally didn’t mean for them to sound that way. The last thing I needed was for Grant to twist my words into thinking that I didn’t support him as president. He was getting enough doubt from inside of his own head.

  But he smiled a little at me. “I’m glad to hear that you’ll be there to help me,” he said, sounding grateful. “I could use all the help that I can get.”

  “You’re going to be great,” I repeated. At this point, I felt like I was trying to convince myself just as much as I was trying to convince him, but I didn’t know what else to do.

  One of the doctors came out just then, snapping off his latex gloves as he approached us. Braxton and Landon got to their feet immediately, and the doctor led them over to the side. I could tell exactly what had happened from Landon’s ashen face before they even came back to share the news with us.

  Braxton cleared his throat, and even though they were both still holding it together, I could see a matching pain in each of their expressions. “Ray’s dead,” he announced.

  Belle gasped and turn
ed her face against Will’s neck. I could see her shoulders shaking, but she muffled her sobs against Will’s bulk as his arms tightened around her. He stroked her hair, and I wondered if maybe she was the luckiest out of all of us. At least she had free rein to show her emotions like this. She could grieve publicly.

  The rest of us wouldn’t dare. Even if it wouldn’t have been strange to show those emotions out in public, there were things that we had to keep in mind as well. There were plenty of people at the hospital here who knew who Ray was. That he was sick.

  There were plenty of people who might be waiting to find out that he had passed, planning their attacks on us already. We couldn’t let them know that he was gone or else we’d lose the last bit of that grace period that we had. We would have to be on guard, starting immediately.

  And no one wanted to think about that just yet. Not with this death still such a raw wound in all of our hearts.

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” I said quietly. Because what the hell else could I say? Now wasn’t the time for me to start talking about how much Ray had meant to me. He had meant a lot to all of us. We all knew what we were losing in losing him. We would talk about all of that later. At the funeral.

  God, the funeral. I bet that neither Braxton or Landon knew the first thing about planning a funeral. They’d grown up in the foster care system, and Ray had been the only family that they’d ever known. It hadn’t been so long since they figured out he was really their father either.

  Belle, on the other hand, had been kept carefully away from anything to do with Ray’s business life, and I doubted she knew where to find a copy of his will either, nor would Ray want her to read the entire version of it, the part that had to do with the club and its holdings. He definitely wouldn’t want her poking around in his office looking for the will. There was too much else in that office of Ray’s that he wouldn’t want her to find. Besides, she was probably upset enough about all of this.

  As Red Eyes treasurer, I was the one who had handled all the paperwork anyway. I had copies of everyone’s wills, just in case. I had all their information about power of attorney and everything else. I doubted either of the twins had any idea of where to look for that information.

  “I’ll handle the funeral arrangements,” I volunteered, and sure enough, Braxton looked utterly shocked, like he hadn’t thought about the fact that something would have to be done with the body. I was sure that in his mind, once Ray was gone, he was gone. Unfortunately, it didn’t work that way.

  “Thank you,” Landon said, running a hand back through his hair. “Let us know if you need any help.”

  “I will,” I said, even though that would be about the last thing that I would want to do.

  I glanced over at Grant, waiting for him to say something, but he looked pretty shocked and helpless, like he didn’t know what to do. Like he didn’t have any idea what to say. I suppressed a sigh. Things were off to a rough start already, I supposed.

  He had to realize the danger in all of this. As soon as everyone found out that Ray was gone, they were going to start breathing down our necks, everyone from the sheriff to other clubs. And the national headquarters would probably be watching us like a hawk too. Ready to slot in someone of their own in place of Grant if they saw the slightest sign of weakness. They wouldn’t want to risk losing control of this territory. Not only was it a lot of land, but we also had a lot of businesses that paid dues to our chapter.

  It was lucrative, and headquarters was concerned with all things money, so Grant needed to step up. Tell everyone what the next plan of action was. Remind everyone that even though Ray was gone, even though the core of the club had been ripped away from us, the club would still go on. We would continue his legacy as best as we could.

  But Grant continued to stay silent, even when I gave him a meaningful look. Not just that, but he averted his gaze from me like he was guilty, like he knew that he was supposed to say something now but didn’t know what. I could practically have groaned.

  Had Ray and I gotten things wrong? But who else could have taken Ray’s position?

  “We’ll have a meeting on Monday, as usual,” I told everyone, looking around at them, making eye contact with each of them. Including Grant. “The normal time. We’ll let everyone else know about the death then, and hopefully, the funeral preparations will be underway so I can give everyone an idea about the time and the place.”

  There were nods around the group. Then, people began to trickle out of there: first Will and Belle, then the twins, then Grant, who practically fled before I could follow him. I shook my head, already starting to have a bad feeling about this.

  I remembered what Grant had said before, about how he was glad that I was there to help him out, how he was glad to know that I had his back. I couldn’t have his back if he insisted on running away. If he didn’t start acting like the new leader of the club, there would be nothing I could do to help him keep that position.

  I felt bad even thinking it. It was a hard time for everyone. I knew that Grant considered Ray to be like a father to him as well. The same way that I did. And Grant was young, just like Ray had reminded me. He didn’t know how to cope with feeling like this. I hoped that Holly, his girlfriend, would help him process his feelings quickly, though, because we were going to need him.

  For now, I was left alone in the hospital, still staring at the too-bright tile floor and thinking over everything that happened. Things had never looked so bleak for the MC before. It felt like everything was broken. Rudderless. We needed a leader, if only to complete that comfortable feeling of familiarity that everyone in the club needed. If Grant wasn’t ready or willing to step up, we were going to have a problem.

  But I had no idea what to do to fix things.

  4

  Tara

  Sam shrieked with laughter as I chased him around the backyard. He ran underneath the playset while I darted around it, leaping over the end of the slide as I pretended to try to catch him. I paused for a minute, winded, and he stuck his tongue out at me, making me laugh as well.

  “You’re such a goofball, Sammy,” I said.

  “Nuh-uh!” he cried. “You’re a goofball!”

  I snorted at the silly response and resumed chasing, but even though his legs were half as long as mine, he was still plenty quick. I was barely pretending to let him get away from me now. Finally, I paused again, putting my hands on my knees as I breathed in and out with huge breaths. “I’m going to need to start going to the gym more if I want to keep up with you,” I joked.

  Sam giggled and sat down on the concrete steps leading to the house. Then, he cocked his head to the side. “Is it time for a snack?” he asked. “I’m hungry.”

  I frowned and glanced at my watch. It had been longer than I’d realized since we had had lunch, and we’d been running around outside for most of the time since. Or rather, he’d been running around. I’d started out trying to get some work done in the garden, but Sam had quickly distracted me, wanting me first to push him on the swings and then to chase him around.

  Come to think of it, I could use a snack as well.

  “Yeah, let’s go figure something out,” I said to Sam, reaching out my arms to him and letting him leap up into my grasp. I carried him inside, thinking about what we had to snack on. “We’ve still got a little more of that lemonade,” I remembered. “And maybe we could have some peanut butter crackers to go with it?”

  “Yeah!” Sam said, giving a little fist pump.

  As I pushed open the sliding glass door, I realized I could hear my phone ringing from where I’d left it on the kitchen island. I sighed and let Sam down so that I could answer it, frowning when I saw that it was Maddie. I hoped there weren’t any problems at the funeral home, but today was my day off. I couldn’t think of any other reason that Maddie might be calling me other than something was wrong.

  I sighed. “Sweetie, can you wait just a minute?” I asked Sam. “It’s Maddie.”

  “Ooookay,
” Sam said, beaming when I said Maddie’s name. She was like an honorary auntie to him. He loved her, and he smiled whenever her name came up.

  I picked up the phone. “Hey, what’s up?” I asked.

  “Hey! It’s not a problem, I just want to let you know that right off the bat,” Maddie said immediately.

  “Okay,” I said slowly. “So what’s up?”

  “There’s just this guy who really wants to get ahold of you. Arranging a funeral, I think. I don’t know why he won’t just talk to me about it, but there it is.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Did you tell him that it’s my day off?” I asked.

  “Yep,” Maddie said, and I could practically hear her rolling her eyes as well. “He’s totally full of himself. Seems to think he’s arranging a funeral for the president or something like that. I mean, you know how the grieving widows get, but this guy is acting, like, ten thousand times more self-important than any of the women ever get.”

  “Where are you right now?” I asked mildly, hoping that she wasn’t standing in earshot of the guy while she said this. He might be a prick, and he might be trying to get me to come in on my day off, but he was still a potential customer.

  Maddie cackled. “Don’t worry; he can’t hear me. I’m in the office. He’s been here for, like, an hour already while I’ve been trying to call you. Where are you anyway?”

  “I’m at home. I was just outside with Sam, and I left my phone on the counter. Because, you know, it’s my day off.”

  “What if there’d been an emergency?” Maddie teased.

  “You’d have managed just fine without me,” I said breezily. I sighed. “You really want me to come in for this guy?”