Not Constructive: Red Eyes MC Series Book #6 Page 19

“Uh-oh,” Maddie said.

  “What?” I asked, automatically looking toward the door like I might see some trouble out there.

  “No, it’s you,” Maddie said, peering at me. “Your expression. You’re totally falling for this guy, aren’t you? You’re starting to think that he’d make great daddy material for Sam.”

  I ducked my head, by I knew there was no hiding my guilty expression.

  “What about Sam?” Maddie asked.

  “Sam’s excited to have the ‘motorcycle man’ around a little more,” I said, deliberately misunderstanding her question. I knew that she was more concerned about safety. I was concerned as well, but I didn’t really think that Cameron was any threat to us. Lex, maybe. But Lex couldn’t get near us as long as Cameron was around.

  I shrugged. “Actually, Cameron’s going to go to Sam’s school today, for Parents Day. Sam asked if he could. It was so sweet; you should have heard him. I mean, sad too. I wish that his real dad was around. But anyway, I think things are going to be good.”

  I expected Maddie to point out all of the problems that were still there. To remind me that Cameron was still part of a motorcycle gang and that he had done who-knew-how-many illegal things in his life. But instead, she gave me a small smile. “I still wish that you were falling for someone else, but I have to admit, it does sound like he’s good for you. And for Sam. Getting you hiking on your day off and being there to support Sam when you can’t. Sounds like you found a keeper.”

  “I hope so,” I said.

  “You’re nervous about him,” Maddie said. “But not because of Red Eyes?”

  “No, not because of Red Eyes.” I sighed and shook my head. “I’m honestly more worried that this is going to go exactly the same way that my relationships always go. The way my relationship with Jeremy went. I’m going to fall head over heels for this guy, and then suddenly he’s going to decide to up and leave.”

  “Well, at least if you get pregnant with Cameron, you’ve already ascertained that he’s fine with kids,” Maddie said sagely. Then, she frowned. “Unless he’s really set on just having one kid.”

  “No, he wants kids. I think he’d probably want more than just Sam, if we were going to stay together long term. We’ll need to move into a bigger house just to have space for it, though, and that’ll just be weird. I’ve lived in this place forever. Some of Sam’s earliest milestones happened there.”

  Maddie’s eyebrows climbed toward her hairline. “Wow, definitely falling for him then. You’re already thinking about kids and bigger houses?”

  “I guess I am,” I admitted. I shook my head. “I don’t know how relationships work when you’re an adult. I mean, I thought I was an adult when I was with Jeremy, but I didn’t have half of the responsibilities that I have now. It just feels like at this point, I can’t waste time on someone without thinking about the long-term picture. I have so many other things that have to be considered: work and Sam and everything else. So yeah, I’m already thinking about how Cameron will fit into that picture.”

  “That’s kind of a good thing,” Maddie said. “I know that if this doesn’t work out, it’s going to hurt, but at least you’ll know that you can still do this. After Jeremy, I was really worried that you were seriously never going to date anyone again.”

  “I didn’t think I was going to,” I said honestly. “And Sam is still the center of my universe. But I’m starting to realize that it doesn’t mean he has to be the only guy in my life. Especially not when Cameron does such a great job of making Sam feel important to him as well.”

  “So how do you think this Parents Day thing is going to go?” Maddie asked.

  I shook my head. “I was worried when Sam asked about it.”

  “Because you weren’t ready for Cameron to start committing to the family picture just yet?” Maddie guessed.

  “Not exactly,” I said, frowning. “That part didn’t bother me as much. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the other parents knowing that I was with someone, but it was nothing to do with Cameron. It was more that I wasn’t sure if he would actually show up.”

  “What convinced you?” Maddie asked curiously.

  “I guess just the course of the weekend,” I said, shrugging. “He was there for us. I asked him to stay with us so that he could make sure that Lex didn’t come after us at home, but he was there with us no matter what we did, really making himself a part of our lives. It made me realize that maybe, just maybe, he wants this as much as I do.”

  I paused. “And I told him not to commit to today if he wasn’t one hundred percent certain that he could show up. I know he’s got his own life and that there’s a lot going on with Red Eyes at the moment. I didn’t want him to feel pressured to be there, and I didn’t want him to disappoint Sam. But he said that he was one hundred percent. He promised he’d be there.”

  “God, you really have found a keeper.” Maddie groaned. “Sounds like he’s committing to a lot more than being at Sam’s school today.”

  “Yeah,” I said. I grinned a little. “To be honest, though, I’m expecting an angry phone call this afternoon from his teacher or one of the other parents or something. ‘How dare you let this guy come into the kindergarten and tell them all that motorcycles are cool!’ That sort of thing.”

  “It is a bit of a risk,” Maddie said, laughing.

  “I mean, Sam is already talking about motorcycles ninety percent of the time that he’s there, right?” I said philosophically. “I figure that if the other kids are going to think that motorcycles are cool, they probably already do.”

  “So you really trust him with Sam?” Maddie asked.

  I nodded. “At first, I was a little worried about leaving the two of them alone, but I don’t know, Mads. You should have seen them together this weekend. They get along so well, and I just can’t believe that Cameron would ever purposefully hurt Sam. He’s really good with him. The most patient guy that I’ve ever met.”

  “That’s wonderful.” Maddie sighed.

  We were just finishing cleaning up from one of the funerals when my phone rang. Sure enough, it was Sam’s school on the other end of the line. I shook my head, unable to keep the smile off my face. “Here we go,” I muttered under my breath, preparing for the battle that I knew was coming.

  But they weren’t calling about something that Cameron had said to the kindergarteners.

  “Tara, hey, this is Claudia Leroy. I’m the principal at Sam’s school, and I’ve got him in my office right now.”

  I blinked in surprise. “Did he do something bad?” I asked, unable to keep the surprise from my voice. Sam was such a good kid; I just couldn’t imagine what he might have done to warrant getting sent to the principal’s office on Parents Day. And why didn’t they deal with it with Cameron instead of calling me?

  Suddenly, a thought struck me. Maybe I was supposed to call the school first, to let them know that Cameron was coming in for Parents Day. As far as they were concerned, it had to look like some random stranger had shown up to Sam’s class, pretending to be Sam’s parent. And even though Sam knew him and could tell his teacher that he had wanted Cameron to be there, I knew how crazy all the security policies around schools were these days.

  But Claudia was talking again. “No, he didn’t do anything bad, but I’m afraid he’s a little upset right now,” she said. “Why don’t I pass him the phone, and he can explain to you?”

  “Okay,” I said, feeling my heart beat a little faster. Sam was upset? What exactly had happened?

  Sam came on the phone, and for a moment, all I could hear was sniffling. “Mommy?” he finally said.

  “Oh, honey, what’s wrong?” I asked, my heart breaking to hear him crying like that.

  “Cameron didn’t come.” Sam all but wailed. “I waited and waited, and all the other parents were already here, but Cameron didn’t—he didn’t come.” He hiccupped on another sob, and I fought the urge to cry myself. This was exactly what I’d been afraid would happen. This was exactl
y why I had told Cameron not to commit to this unless he was one hundred percent sure that he could be there.

  He had hurt Sam, and that was unforgivable. I knew that I could never be with him now, and that was killing me. But for right now, I couldn’t dwell on my own feelings. I had a crying five-year-old waiting for me at the principal’s office of his school because his dreams had just been crushed.

  “Sam, buddy, I’ll be there soon, okay?” I told him. “And you can play hooky for the rest of the day. We’ll get ice cream and go to the dog park to play with all the doggies. How does that sound?”

  All I could hear on the other end of the line was crying. God, when had my son gotten old enough that bribes wouldn’t work to calm him down anymore? I felt so helpless. I needed to get over there.

  “Sam, can you hand the phone back to your principal please?” I asked. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

  Would the kid ever believe a promise from an adult again?

  “Tara?” Claudia asked.

  “I’ll be right over there,” I promised her, just like I had promised Sam. “Is it okay if he stays in the office with you for now?”

  “Of course,” Claudia said. “I’ll see you soon.” She sounded relieved that I was going to be there, and I wondered just how upset Sam had gotten before they had called me.

  I ducked into the other room, where Maddie was still working, oblivious to the call and my breaking heart. “I have to go,” I told her.

  Maddie looked around in surprise. “Okay,” she said. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

  “Cameron didn’t show up,” I said, choking on the words.

  “Oh, honey,” Maddie said, taking a step toward me, her arms already opening to give me a hug. But I shook my head, taking a step back.

  “If you give me that hug right now, I’m going to go to pieces, and I can’t,” I told her. “I need to keep it together. Sam is upset enough as it is.”

  “Right,” Maddie said sadly, nodding at me. “But I’m here, whenever you need me.”

  “Thanks, Mads,” I told her. I left before I could get any more choked up.

  Sam was my number one priority, and I had to keep it together for him, regardless of what I personally was feeling right now. It was my fault that any of this had happened in the first place.

  33

  Cameron

  Braxton finally showed up at Giorgio’s, walking in like he owned the place. God, his assumed presidency must really have gone to his head. He had always been confident, but now he just seemed like more of an ass than ever, like he didn’t even care that he was so late.

  Then again, he probably didn’t have anywhere else to be, unlike some of us. God, why couldn’t we have done this on a different day?

  Braxton grabbed a seat opposite Grant and me. “Glad you could make it,” I said snarkily, unable to hold back.

  Grant elbowed me hard in the ribs. I knew that the last thing we wanted right now was for Braxton to get pissed off and stalk out of there, but after the shit that he’d pulled over the past couple weeks, coupled with the fact that he was making me screw up everything with Tara today, I was having a hard time feeling anything other than frustration toward him.

  “Well, what’s going on?” Grant asked.

  Braxton raised an eyebrow at him. “Thought you’d be glad to meet with me since I only have, oh, ninety percent of the club’s members on my side.”

  Grant’s hands clenched into fists against his legs, but he only nodded curtly at Braxton, indicating that he should continue.

  “Seriously, Braxton, what’s up?” I asked. “We’ve been trying to get you to meet with us for over a week, and you wouldn’t even talk to us. You’ve been avoiding us. So why do you suddenly want to meet with us?”

  “I haven’t been avoiding you,” Braxton said. “I’ve been busy. Running a club, supervising all the other members. That takes a lot of work. Plus trying to find new recruits so that we can build some sort of a core group instead of relying entirely on auxiliaries. That takes time as well. And on top of that, I’ve been trying to make sure that my network is still in place, and that everyone I’ve had talking over the years is still talking.”

  Grant snorted. “Expecting a knife in your back like the one that you put in mine?” he asked humorlessly.

  Braxton shook his head. “We both know that right now is the perfect time to strike. For one of our rivals to try to knock Red Eyes right off the map. With Ray out of the way and so much internal uncertainty, this is the easiest chance that they’ll ever have. Someone’s bound to take it.”

  It wasn’t like Braxton to base action on hypotheticals, and I had to wonder what had happened. Had the fighting already started?

  “Lex has started to move in on the people that the club is meant to protect,” Braxton continued. He glanced over at me. “I know you saw this coming, and I know that this probably isn’t news to you. That you’ve been keeping tabs on him.”

  I, in turn, glanced over at Grant. Because the truth was, I hadn’t been keeping tabs on Lex, not the way that I should have. My sole focus had been on keeping Tara and Sam safe. And that meant being on the defensive rather than the offensive. Some help I was. Some job I was doing on keeping the promise that I had made to Ray.

  The club should have been my first priority. From the time that Ray had died, I should have been looking for threats and making sure that my brothers were safe, not just focusing on this woman whom I barely knew and her young son.

  Regardless of the uncertainty in my mind about whether I really wanted to be part of the club or if I wanted to take the chance that Tara was offering me. To step up to the plate and be something of a family man.

  With regards to Lex, I shrugged at Braxton, though. “Well, like you said, you have ninety percent of the club behind you. Why don’t you take on Lex and his guys? The Unknowns, or whatever the new batch of them are calling themselves. I’m sure you have the strength to hold Red Eyes territory. Don’t you?”

  Why would he need us? He was all ready to strike out on his own as president of the club, and that meant that he must have confidence in his abilities to fight off other clubs who tried to test him.

  Braxton sighed and shook his head. “Look, I never should have split the club,” he said. “That’s not what the MC needed. I was just upset and not thinking straight after my father died. You know I was drinking.”

  “So what do you plan on doing?”

  “I don’t think starting a new chapter in Red Eyes’ existence with fighting is the way to go about it,” Braxton said, and I was shocked to hear the words come out of his mouth. He grinned, like he realized what a strange thought that was, coming from him. “We’ve taken out Lex once, and we didn’t have to fight him to do that. I think that’s what a lot of the club is looking for this time. If we try to fight him, he’s just going to keep coming back.”

  “So you think that we should form an agreement with him again? Just like Ray did?” Grant asked slowly.

  “I do,” Braxton agreed. “I think that’s what the club wants as well. What the club needs.” He paused. “I don’t want to be president. I never have. I just want to make sure that this club continues to exist. It’s my father’s legacy.”

  “I know,” Grant said. “But you need to trust that I’m going to do everything that I can to ensure it continues to exist too. You can’t just leave the first time I make a decision that you aren’t okay with.”

  “I know,” Braxton said. “But I expect that you’ll let me have some input as well. That if I think we can fight our way out of a situation, that you’ll consider that option.”

  Grant nodded. “That’s fair,” he said.

  “So it will be one club again?” I asked Braxton just to clarify. “With Grant as leader?”

  “Yes,” Braxton said. He shook his head. “I was out of line before. My father wanted you to be leader, Grant, and it’s not my place to argue with that.”

  “Is this the point where we
all hug and make up?” Grant joked.

  Braxton snorted. “Let’s not go that far, but when all this is over with Lex, how about I’ll buy you a drink?”

  “Deal,” Grant said.

  I tried to find it inside of myself to feel happy, knowing that the club was going to be okay, or at least that we were one club again. Grant and Braxton were no longer at odds. Hopefully, Braxton could convince all of the guys who followed him to follow Grant now, and that things were going to be slightly different from how they’d been before, different enough, while still being the same club that Ray had once run.

  This meeting should be everything that I’d been hoping for. But instead, my priorities seemed to have gotten mixed up somewhere along the way.

  I glanced at my watch again. “Yeah, yeah, get out of here,” Grant said, waving me off. “We’ll hash out all the details.”

  “Where’s he going?” Braxton asked curiously.

  “He’s just got something he has to do,” Grant said. “Non-club business.” I flashed him a grateful smile when he didn’t tell Braxton all about Tara or Sam or the rest of it. I’d let Braxton know eventually, but I didn’t want him to feel like I wasn’t invested in the club anymore or that I had too many distractions.

  I sped over to the school, glancing at the time every couple of minutes. I was late, but he should still be there. There was no way he would have gotten out of school just yet. Right? I didn’t know exactly what time schools let out, but I was sure it wasn’t this early.

  And sure enough, when I got to the school, there were still plenty of cars in the parking lot, plus kids were on the playground, located off to the side of the school, their shrieks of laughter loud and clear. School was still in session, and I had made it.

  I headed through the front door, pausing at the visitors’ table to announce that I was there for Parents Day, on behalf of Sam. Tara had told me his teacher’s name and everything, and I felt official. Like I really belonged there among the other dads and moms at the school.

  But when I told my name to the woman behind the desk and said that I was there for Sam, she winced. “Hold on just a second,” she said, disappearing back into the administrative offices. She came out with another woman, a smiling blond woman who held a hand out to me.