Not Constructive: Red Eyes MC Series Book #6 Read online

  “What are we going to do?” Grant sighed, sinking into the seat across from me on Thursday night. But he didn’t really sound like he was asking the question. He was just as resigned as I was to our fate.

  I had stared down into my beer for a long moment and then took a swig, shaking my head. “There’s nothing else that we can do,” I had told Grant. “We’ll have that meeting with Lex tomorrow, and we have to hope that he’ll believe us when we say that everyone is behind you being the new Red Eyes leader.”

  “Do you think that’ll work?” Grant asked.

  I shrugged one shoulder, cocking my head to the side. “Unless you have a better plan, I don’t think it really matters,” I pointed out. “If we meet with Lex and he doesn’t believe us, the agreement’s off, and we’re at blows with him and the Unknowns again. But if he doesn’t meet with you at all, the agreement’s off, and we’re at blows with him and the Unknowns again. Our hands are tied. We have no choice but to meet with him and hope for the best.”

  “I wish you could sound a little more confident about it,” Grant sighed.

  I had rolled my eyes, but I knew he was attempting to lighten the mood. “I wish I could feel more confident. And I wish that Braxton had agreed to meet with us, or that he had never started this whole thing to begin with, and that none of this was an issue. But it is, and we have to deal with it.” I had swallowed down the rest of my drink, then made a face at the bitter taste.

  The next day, we headed to our meeting with Lex, trying to project an air of calm. But Lex started laughing almost the minute we walked in the door. “You’re the new president?” he asked Grant. “You’re the guy who’s going to replace Ray?”

  He stood up and started pacing around Grant, eyeing him like a prized piece of meat at the market. “Well, I will say that you’ve got the right build. Not too tall, but it looks like those fists of yours could do a little damage. The question is, do you have the heart to be president of the club and to keep everyone together?”

  Grant started to say something, and I could see the anger in his eyes. He didn’t like this inspection from Lex. I wondered what he had thought was going to happen. Lex was going to look for any way to poke holes in the kid’s confidence. I just hoped that Grant could summon enough of that hidden sternness to keep from saying anything dumb.

  It turned out that he didn’t need to say anything, though. Lex held up a hand, his eyes narrowing. “You really think that you can fool me?” he asked. “I know that Red Eyes is having problems. I know that you’re divided already. Not even a month since Ray died and it looks like it’s all coming crashing down. What I’m curious to know, though, is why you think that you could take on Braxton.”

  “Ray chose me as leader,” Grant said hotly.

  “And he’s dead,” Lex said snidely. “Face it; you’re falling apart. And yet you come here begging me for peace. Tell me, why would I ever want to have peace with you? Why should I be afraid of you? You can’t do anything to me if you’re too busy cutting off your own tail.”

  I felt my fingers clench into fists at my sides. I wasn’t usually quick to anger, but there was something about Lex that just pissed me off. Maybe it was still partly because he had gone by to visit Tara at the funeral home. He might be the reason that she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. If so, I had every reason in the world to punch him.

  But that wasn’t the way that Ray would want things done, and ultimately, I knew that wasn’t what Red Eyes needed. Hell, I didn’t know why I hadn’t heard from Tara. Maybe she’d just had a busy week. It wasn’t like I had gotten the nerve to call her either. Maybe she was waiting to hear from me.

  “Red Eyes is falling apart,” Lex repeated. “And as far as I’m concerned, there are no agreements between us.”

  “What the hell do you know about any of it?” Grant scoffed, his anger finally getting the better of him.

  But Lex just smiled at him. “More than you know,” he assured Grant.

  I wanted to ask what Lex’s next move would be, but I knew he wasn’t about to tell me. And I wanted to get out of there before Grant tried to attack him or something. Just because Lex appeared to be on his own, it didn’t mean that he really was. His backup had to outnumber us.

  Hell, we might even be in trouble with the sheriff if we started something with Lex right now. An “anonymous tip-off” sort of thing. I wouldn’t put it past Lex to pull something like that. I wouldn’t put anything past Lex after Marcus had planted drugs at the Unknowns’ clubhouse.

  I caught Grant’s arm and gave him a nudge toward the door.

  “By the way,” Lex said, before we could leave, his tone silkier than I’d ever heard it before, “your girlfriend has a cute kid. Doesn’t she, Cameron?”

  I froze in my tracks, my blood running cold. How the hell did Lex know about Sam?

  But that was a stupid question. I knew that he had shown up at the funeral parlor before, and even though my guys hadn’t had to stop him from going in there again, there was no reason to assume that he didn’t have Tara and Sam under surveillance at all times.

  I narrowed my eyes at Lex, though, feeling my anger turn to molten heat in my veins. Like hell was I going to sit by and let him do anything to Tara or Sam. “If you fuck with them, if you so much as threaten them, I will kill you. I hope you know that,” I said to Lex, my voice low and angry.

  Lex just smiled at me, though. For a long moment, we stared at each other, neither of us willing to break eye contact. This time, Grant steered me toward the door, his hand rough at the nape of my neck.

  “What the hell is going on?” he asked the minute we got outside. “What did Lex by ‘your girlfriend?’”

  I knew that Grant was the leader of the club and that I really should tell him about Tara, especially since I had some of the guys from the club watching the funeral home still. Although I had told Grant that was for the protection of Ray’s grave more than anything else.

  But there was something else nagging at my mind. And for a moment I thought I was going to be sick. Was this why I hadn’t heard from Tara all week? Had Lex already done something to them? Were they still okay?

  I didn’t know. I had been so sure that the reason Tara hadn’t called was because she didn’t want to see me anymore, but what if it was that she physically couldn’t call me? What if something terrible had already happened? It wouldn’t surprise me at all if that was Lex’s next move. I knew that he didn’t play fair.

  “I have to check on something,” I said gruffly to Grant. I sprinted away from him before he could ask any more questions.

  26

  Tara

  Maggie giggled as she looked down at the latest guy who we had gotten ready for his funeral. “I know it’s inappropriate to laugh, but I just can’t get over that beard,” she said, shaking her head.

  “He looks like he just stepped out of a Civil War reenactment, that’s for sure,” I said, grinning and shaking my head. In fact, that’s what his wife had had us dress him in, his final resting attire. I knew that there were Civil War reenactors in other parts of the country, but I had never realized that there was any right here in Las Cruces. But I supposed you didn’t pick the location of your home based on your hobbies. Generally.

  Maddie peered at me. “I expected you to be cracking more jokes about this one,” she said, and I could tell that was her way of saying that she was concerned. “What’s been up with you this week?”

  I shrugged, but to be honest, I really did want to talk to her about all of it. I’d been stewing in my thoughts about Cameron, about Lex, about our safety, for too long now. I was actually surprised that I’d been able to keep it from Maddie for as long as I had. But the more I thought about all of it, the worse I felt. I knew I needed to tell someone else before my mind took me to a really dark place.

  “I haven’t spoken to Cameron since we went out for dinner last weekend. Sunday,” I admitted.

  “Uh-oh,” Maddie said, wincing. “What happened? Di
d the two of you have a fight?” She paused. “And don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly over the moon about your relationship with him, but you know you can always tell me about these kinds of things. You don’t have to keep them to yourself.”

  I gave her a grateful smile, but then I sighed. “No, we didn’t have a fight. And I know that I can talk to you about all of it, I guess I just was still trying to get things straight in my head.”

  “So what happened?” Maddie pressed.

  “Everything was honestly pretty perfect,” I told her. “We had a great dinner, we talked about a little bit of everything, it was fun, and we went back to his place.”

  “And what, the sex was terrible?” Maddie joked, trying to lighten the mood.

  I barely managed a smile, though. “God, no,” I told her, shaking my head. “The sex was amazing. It’s like he knows exactly what to do to drive me absolutely crazy. But I don’t know, I guess I started thinking about Sam and keeping him safe, and I’m not sure that exploring my feelings for Cameron is the best way to do that.”

  I didn’t want to tell her that Lex had come into the diner. That he knew about Sam. God, she would freak out.

  Maddie glanced over at me. “I know it probably hurts right now, but I think it’s a good thing that you’re not talking to him anymore,” she said quietly. “I think that shows a good maternal instinct.”

  “I know you do.” I sighed. “The thing is, I want to believe that he’s this good guy and that he’s not going to do anything that would hurt Sam or me.”

  “But you’re having doubts?” Maddie asked in surprise.

  “I guess so,” I admitted.

  “What did he do?”

  “Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m just worried. Because of Sam.”

  “Right, because of Sam,” Maddie echoed, but I could tell that she saw right through me. She knew what I was really worried about: she knew that I was getting my feelings too tangled up in this. That I was afraid that I would get hurt. It had happened before.

  “Anyway, it’s probably a good thing that we’re not in touch. I know he’s busy right now.” To be honest, I was trying to convince myself that that was the reason I hadn’t heard from him. It was one thing for me to decide that I couldn’t see him anymore and not call him, but there had to be a reason why he hadn’t called me either.

  Maybe he was bored. Maybe he’d gotten what he wanted. He had told me that he wasn’t like the other guys in the club, and that he didn’t sleep around. But what proof did I really have? Maybe he routinely slept with women a couple times and then forgot that they even existed.

  “If he’s too busy for you, then good riddance,” Maddie proclaimed. “You deserve a guy who’s going to bend over backward to be there for you, whatever he had going on in his own life.”

  “So do you,” I said, smiling at her.

  Maddie snapped her fingers as an idea occurred to her. “Hey, now that we’re both single and you’ve started going on dates again, we should totally have a girls’ night. You can ask your other sitter to watch Sam, and you and I can get dressed up and hit the town for some drinks.”

  “I was just thinking that we should do that,” I told her. I glanced down at the corpse between us. “But if you see me with anyone who had facial hair like that, you’d better get me out of there.”

  Maddie laughed. “It’s a deal,” she said.

  I hated the feeling of going out and finding someone else, of forgetting all about the amazing chemistry that I had with Cameron, but I knew it was probably for the best. I liked Cameron. A lot. But my first priority was Sam, and I had to make sure that he was safe. If Cameron couldn’t provide a safe life for us, then I couldn’t be with him. It was as simple as that.

  We were just finishing up the final touches on this guy’s arrangements when none other than Cameron himself strode into the funeral home, a concerned expression on his face.

  “There you are,” he said.

  I raised an eyebrow at him and made a show of glancing at my watch, trying to pretend that just seeing him didn’t make my heart start beating a little faster. “Yes, at three o’clock on a Friday, I am at work. Surprise, I know,” I said sarcastically.

  Cameron looked like he was about to put his arms around me, so I took a step back. I needed to maintain some distance between us if I was going to get through this conversation in one piece. Because it was already tearing me apart to see him and remember exactly what I was giving up.

  To distract myself, I glanced past Cameron to the guy who had entered the funeral home with him. “Who’s this?” I asked.

  Cameron glanced back over his shoulder and gestured for the other guy to step forward. “Tara, this is Grant. He’s president of Red Eyes now that Ray is gone. Grant, this is Tara. I’m sure you remember her from Ray’s funeral.”

  “Nice to formally meet you,” Grant said, shaking my hand.

  I glanced over toward Maddie, wondering what the hell was going on now. I didn’t know how I felt about being introduced to the president of the biker gang. What if Lex came and asked what my relationship was to them again? Hell, what if he was watching us even now?

  Did they even realize what a risk they were putting me at?

  Cameron lowered his voice. “I haven’t heard from you all week,” he said, and again, it looked like he wanted to reach for me, but this time, he checked himself.

  “I’ve been busy,” I said, unable to meet his gaze. I could practically feel the disappointment radiating from him, though.

  “Have you had any trouble?” Cameron asked. “With another MC, maybe?”

  I frowned at him, wondering if he knew about the thing with Lex. He might, if he was having people make sure that I was safe. Maybe that was why those Red Eyes guys had been there with Lex at the diner. Maybe they were Cameron’s guys, and they were escorting Lex or something. Making sure that he couldn’t do whatever it was that he really wanted to do.

  Or was that just wishful thinking?

  “There were some guys. Including Lex,” I finally told Cameron, speaking slowly so that I could watch his reaction. “I took Sam to the diner on Monday night, after I picked him up for school, and they showed up there.” I paused. “Lex knows about Sam. You have to promise me that he’s going to be safe.”

  “I promise you, I won’t let anything happen to Sam,” Cameron growled, his eyes flashing. He looked the angriest that I had ever seen him, and I honestly felt a little afraid of him just then.

  But I pressed onward. “How are you going to protect us, though?” I asked. “You keep telling me that you’re going to take care of everything and that you’re going to make sure that he can’t get to us, but outside of placing some of your guys as watch outside the funeral home, I haven’t seen any changes. I’m only here part of my life, and Sam is totally unprotected while he’s at school.”

  “I have guys posted at his school too,” Cameron promised me. “But I doubt Lex would come to your house or anything like that. He’s not that much of a bastard.”

  “Are you one hundred percent sure of that?” I asked, and I didn’t want to feel scared by this whole thing, but I had to admit that I was. Who knew what this guy, Lex, might be planning. It was clear that he wanted to get back at Red Eyes, and I was sure he knew about the dates that Cameron and I had gone on.

  Cameron stared at me for a long moment. “No,” he finally admitted. He ran a hand back through his hair. “To be honest, we don’t really know what Lex is capable of. He doesn’t play by the rules.”

  I swallowed hard, glancing over at Maddie again. But she had disappeared, no doubt not wanting to be involved in this any deeper than she already was. I wished that I could just walk away from it all as well. That I could walk away from Cameron, forget about him, move on with my life, and ensure that Sam was safe.

  But that wasn’t the way that things were going to be, I could tell that already. I needed Cameron. It wasn’t just that I had feelings for him, but he might be the only
thing keeping Sam and me safe from Lex.

  “Would you stay with us?” I asked softly, peeking up at Cameron through my lashes and hoping he couldn’t see how scared I really was. But I knew my defensive barriers were cracking, and I knew he somehow knew me better than he had any right to.

  Cameron nodded slowly, and this time when he moved toward me, his movements careful and obvious so that he wouldn’t startle me, I let him pull me into his arms. I leaned into his solid chest, wishing that I had met him in some other way, in some other time.

  But that was not the way that things had happened, and now we had to deal with our current reality.

  27

  Cameron

  I couldn’t describe my relief when I got to the funeral parlor and found out that Tara was okay. Of course, it bothered me to find out that she’d had another run-in with Lex, but at least he hadn’t done anything to them. It would have killed me if something had happened to either of them.

  I was already trying to think up other solutions to the problem when Tara suggested that I come to stay with her and Sam. The trouble was, I couldn’t ask the Red Eyes guys to post outside her house night and day, just waiting to see if Lex would show up. Especially not since we were short on men, now that more than half the guys in the club had decided that they were on Braxton’s side for the leadership position.

  But if I was there, I could make sure that Lex didn’t try anything while Tara and Sam were at home. And maybe I could figure out what was going through Tara’s head as well. I could sense that she had put up barriers. When I had first walked into the funeral home, she wouldn’t even let me hug her. She was as skittish as a young animal.

  I wondered if it was just the thing with Lex that was taking its toll or if it was something else. I remembered that she had told me that Sam’s father had wanted nothing to do with her once he found out that she was pregnant, and I wondered if maybe that was a clue. She had told me that it had been a long time since she had had sex with anyone, but surely it hadn’t been since she was pregnant with Sam.