Not Constructive: Red Eyes MC Series Book #6 Read online

  He came as well, a throaty moan echoing through the room as his hips slammed into me the final time as he shot his seed into the condom, filling it with hot spurts of pleasure. He pressed his forehead against mine, and I didn’t mind that we were sticky with sweat. His hand gripped my hip like he was the one using me as an anchor now, like he was the one who was lost in the sensations of us.

  He pulled away, a grin on his face. The expression twisted a little as he pulled out of me and slipped the condom off, but when he flopped down beside me on the bed, it was that easy grin on his face again.

  We both lay on our backs, panting, staring up at the ceiling.

  I was struck by the sudden desire to cuddle up next to his body, to press against him and lay my head on his chest. But that wasn’t what this was about. This wasn’t a relationship, and he wasn’t my boyfriend. Hell, he was barely even my friend. We just didn’t know each other well enough, and we probably never would.

  I sort of hoped that we never did. Because as mind-blowing as that sex had been, I knew that I couldn’t get involved with him. He’d been the perfect first fuck to cleanse my palette after the past years of celibacy, but it could never be anything more than this one night.

  At the start of the night, I had only been planning on getting information from him.

  I frowned, thinking about Lex and about Red Eyes, or what I knew about Red Eyes anyway. Which wasn’t that much, to be honest. I could tell that Cameron was hiding things from me as he spoke about them. It wasn’t a surprise, really. But it did make me even more curious.

  Maybe I should come clean about my own secret. Especially since we had slept together. Maybe I owed it to him. And I wouldn’t have slept with Cameron if I thought that he was going to hurt me. If telling him about Sam meant I could better protect my son, then maybe it was for the best.

  “What are you thinking about?” Cameron asked, propping himself up on one elbow and looking down at me. His eyes were guarded, and I remembered the position from earlier in the night when he’d tried to tell me that we didn’t really have to do this if I didn’t want to. Maybe he thought that I was having second thoughts about it now? I didn’t know why that would make him look so concerned, but it was the only thing that I could think of.

  I tried to smile at him, but it wasn’t entirely successful. “There’s something that I need to talk to you about,” I said.

  Relief broke out on Cameron’s face. He reached over and stroked a hand gently down my body, smiling crookedly as I shivered again. “Everything is going to be okay,” he promised me. “I mean it. Don’t worry about Lex anymore. Whatever he said to you. Just forget about it and let me handle it. It’s my fault that you’re in this mess.”

  I fell silent, staring up at him. I wanted to protest, to tell him that that wasn’t what I had been thinking about at all. Because really, I wanted to tell him about Sam, and that it wasn’t just me who I needed him to protect, or Maddie… or the funeral home either.

  But somehow, the timing just didn’t seem right.

  He had his secrets, and I had mine. But this wasn’t a relationship anyway, so I didn’t know why I cared.

  “Are you staying?” Cameron asked, and I jolted a little.

  “Sorry, I should go,” I said, immediately sitting up.

  Cameron caught my wrist. “If you’re just leaving because you think that was my way of hinting at it, you’re wrong,” he told me. “I was more just curious.”

  I shook my head. “I really should get home,” I told him. God, Maddie. There was going to be no way of hiding this from her. I was sure that my hair must be escaping its bun like crazy, and there was that stupid, fucked-out expression that I knew I’d be sporting the moment I walked in the door. Plus the fact that it was way later than I’d intended for it to be. And the fact that I had never been able to hide anything from her.

  She might have eventually approved of me going to dinner with Cameron when I’d explained that it was just so I could gather information about Red Eyes and Lex. But it felt like I had barely learned anything tonight, and it hadn’t just been dinner.

  And the truth was, I wasn’t ashamed of it. I’d needed this, even more than I had realized, and Cameron had been so impossibly gentle with me. If he weren’t part of Red Eyes, if sleeping with him didn’t surely spell disaster, I would definitely have done it again.

  Cameron’s eyes were on me as I pulled my clothes back on. “Look,” he finally said, “Tonight was really fun. But I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

  “And what page is that?” I asked, glancing over at him.

  “I can’t handle anything else on my plate right now,” Cameron said. “Tonight was fun, but I just want to make sure that you know that if I don’t call you, it’s not because you did something wrong.”

  I blinked over at him. “I appreciate that,” I said. “I’m not really looking for anything either. This was good, though.”

  “I’m glad,” Cameron said, and that same easy smile appeared on his face.

  “And I’m here for you if you need anything. If you need someone to talk to. I know I can’t really give you any advice since I don’t really know what being in the MC is like, but I’m definitely here to listen,” I added.

  “I appreciate that,” Cameron said softly.

  I paused, feeling like there was more that I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the words. Finally, I nodded at him. “See you then,” I said lamely.

  Cameron snorted. “See you,” he echoed, giving me a little wave.

  I darted out of there, feeling that it was over as quickly as it had begun.

  17

  Cameron

  I was relieved to hear from Grant on Friday. He wanted to meet up at the clubhouse and talk about the Braxton situation. Even though I hadn’t had any epiphanies on the subject, and even though I still didn’t know the first way to fix things, I welcomed it as a chance to get out of the house and maybe stop thinking about Tara for a little while.

  I was still surprised at where things had ended up the night before. And how relaxed and calm she’d been about the whole thing, even when I admitted to her that I might not call her back, in light of all the other things I had going on in my life right now.

  But she’d been so cool about all of it that it left me wanting more. I knew that she needed to leave. That this wasn’t the kind of arrangement where she would stay the night with me, but I couldn’t help wishing that she would stay over and that I could continue to debauch her until she couldn’t even think about leaving. I was curious to see how many times I could get her off in how many different ways. Her body was so incredibly responsive, so gloriously ready to go. I couldn’t get enough of that.

  I almost wanted to call her already. To set up another time to see her. But even if I had planned on seeing her again, I knew that it was too soon to be setting that up. And besides, I didn’t plan on seeing her again. Continuing to see her would just complicate things further, especially if Lex was already asking about her relationship with me. I didn’t want her in any trouble because I couldn’t keep my hands off her, and trying to keep her safe was just one more thing that I didn’t want to have to think about right now.

  So I headed to the clubhouse.

  Grant was pacing when I entered, but he turned toward me the moment I walked in. “I just still can’t get over it,” he said, without pausing to say hello. “Like, what the hell does he think that he’s playing at?”

  “I know,” I said. “You and I both know that there’s a reason Ray didn’t name Braxton as his successor for the presidency. And Braxton knows that too. He just needs some time to think things through. You know how antsy he gets when we don’t have any action. And right now, he’s worried that he’s going to see his father’s legacy go down the toilet.”

  “Well, that’s exactly what’s going to happen, thanks to him,” Grant snapped. “Trying to break the MC apart? What the hell is he thinking?”

  “There are just a
lot of emotions going around the MC right now,” I said, trying to keep my tone soothing without sounding placating or patronizing.

  Grant didn’t look pleased. “Whose side are you on, anyway?” he snapped.

  I raised an eyebrow at him. “Yours, obviously. All I’m saying is that I understand where Braxton is coming from. I don’t condone it, but I understand it. And as a leader, you would do well also to understand it. I hate to say it, but the only way that you’re going to get everyone back together and on the same side is if you can put yourself in their shoes. Remind everyone that we’re all on the same side and that we all have the same values that we’ve always had.”

  “I already tried to have a meeting with everyone, and look how that turned out,” Grant said, giving me a sardonic smile.

  “I know. In retrospect, I guess I should have seen that coming, I was just looking for threats in other places at that point,” I said.

  Because that’s really what it came down to. At the moment, there were too many pieces in play. It wasn’t just the chaos within the club; it was all the chaos outside the club as well. The fact that Lex had already shown up to make it clear that he was going to cause trouble for us if we showed any sign of weakness. The fact that if we didn’t get this question of leadership sorted out, the national headquarters of Red Eyes was probably going to step in and “fix” things for us.

  I didn’t like the current division in our branch of the club, but at the same time, I knew there was no way everyone was going to rally behind a total stranger brought in from one of the other branches of the club. Grant might fold at that point, but Braxton would never give up. The last thing we needed was a war among ourselves.

  “So if not a meeting, what do we do?” Grant asked.

  “First of all, I think we need to disprove what Braxton said before, about you being weak. Think about it; most of the guys, the auxiliary members, rarely get involved in club business. They hardly know you at all. I’m sure that that’s part of why a lot of them walked out with Braxton. He’s always been loud and a bit obnoxious, but what that means is that everyone knows who he is. We need to make sure that everyone knows you just as well.”

  Grant rolled his eyes. “So what do you want me to do?” he asked. “Write up a newsletter and send it around to everyone?”

  I snorted. “Hardly,” I said. “But you hardly ever get drinks with anyone outside of the core group.”

  “So you want to set me up on blind dates with select people from the auxiliary members, and we’ll go get drinks and chat, and suddenly everyone’s going to want to be on my side instead of Braxton’s?” Grant asked sarcastically.

  “I never said that it was going to be that easy,” I said. “But I do think that might be our best option.”

  Grant looked like he wanted to protest, but just then, my phone started ringing. He rolled his eyes as I pulled it out, half hoping to see that it was Tara calling. Even if it meant that something had happened at the funeral home, that Lex had started another stage of his plan, I would almost welcome it if it meant that I got to talk to her. Or better yet, that I got to see her again.

  It wasn’t Tara, though. Instead, the screen displayed an unknown number but with a local area code. I shrugged and answered it. “Hello?”

  “Cameron, good to hear from you,” Lex said, his silky voice unmistakable. “How have you been holding up? Everything all right with Red Eyes?”

  “What do you want, Lex?” I asked, not wanting to play his games today.

  Lex laughed. “You should already know the answer to that question,” he said. “I want a meeting with the new leader of Red Eyes. You remember, so that I can decide if we’re going to continue this little arrangement between our two groups or not.”

  “I remember,” I said. “But that meeting isn’t going to happen right now.”

  “What’s the matter?” Lex asked teasingly. “I thought you said that you already had a new leader in place.”

  “We do,” I said bluntly. “And he’ll meet with you when he’s ready to meet with you. On our terms, since this is our territory.”

  Lex clucked his tongue. “What you’re forgetting, sadly, is that I hold all the power here,” he said. “You need me to agree not to attack Red Eyes, not the other way around.” He paused. “Put it this way. If there’s no meeting between your new leader and me by next Friday, you can consider that agreement gone. And you have no idea what my next move will be, do you?”

  I gnashed my teeth, overcome with frustration. But Lex hung up before I could say anything else.

  “What a piece of work,” Grant muttered under his breath. He shook his head. “It’s fine; I’ll meet with him.”

  “You can’t,” I said. “Not yet.”

  Grant raised an eyebrow at me. “Don’t you think that I should be the one to decide that?” he asked. “I’m the president of this club, aren’t I? And you support that?”

  “Yes, of course,” I snapped. “Quit asking or I might change my mind, though.” It came out harsher than I’d intended, and I immediately winced. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

  Grant gave me a small smile. “Lots of emotions going around the club right now,” he said, repeating my words from earlier. “Why don’t you want me to meet with Lex?”

  “Because what happens when you meet with Lex, claiming that you’re leader of the club now, and then Braxton decides that he’s going to meet with Lex as well, claiming that he’s leader of the club?” I asked. It was another of those things that I thought should be so obvious that Grant clearly just wasn’t thinking about.

  Grant nodded at that, though. “You’re right,” he said. “Fixing the club should be our number one priority. We need to do that before anything else can be done.” He paused. “So any ideas about what to do with the whole Braxton situation?”

  “Let me try calling him,” I suggested. “Maybe we can get him to agree to a meeting with you, and then we can try to sort some things out.”

  “That sounds like as good a plan as any,” Grant said.

  But when I called Braxton, it went straight to his voicemail. If we couldn’t even get in contact with Braxton, what the hell were we going to do? Whatever it was, we were going to have to think fast. Lex hadn’t given us much time. We needed to fix the cracks in the MC within the week. Someone needed to meet with the leader of the Unknowns and ensure that the peace agreement that Lex and Ray had would still be in effect.

  Otherwise, who knew what might happen to Red Eyes and everyone we were meant to protect? One thing was for sure: we couldn’t fight this war if we were fighting among ourselves.

  18

  Tara

  Maddie glanced toward the front window for the thousandth time that day, her lips drawing tightly together. But where earlier she’d stayed quiet every time she looked out there, this time, she finally said something. “So how long are those guys going to be out there?”

  “Every day, as far as I know, until this whole thing blows over,” I said unconcernedly, not looking up from the bow tie that I was working on getting just right.

  “Don’t you think it’s uncomfortable, having them out there? They’re just standing there, all day, not doing anything. It’s creepy.”

  “They’re supposed to be giving you peace of mind, not scaring you even more,” I said, finally glancing over at her. “And what do you want them to do, dance a little while they’re out there? They’re on patrol. They’re making sure that Lex and these Unknowns don’t come anywhere near the building or don’t get up to any funny business while we’re here.”

  “Yeah, I get that,” Maddie said impatiently. “And don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to know that we’re safe.” The way she said it made it sound like she thought we were anything but. “Don’t you think they’re going to scare off all the customers, though? People have to realize that there are three burly thugs sitting out there watching the building.”

  “You only realize they’re there because you knew they were going
to be there,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m sure to anyone else they just look like they’re waiting for someone or something.”

  “And I ask again, why can’t we just call the police?”

  “What are we going to report?” I asked. “Nothing’s really happened yet. Sure, Lex made a few threats, but you can’t throw someone in jail for making you feel uncomfortable.”

  “Wish you could,” Maddie muttered, glancing back out at our three protectors.

  “Hey, why don’t we take Sam somewhere tonight and forget all about this?” I suggested. “I know you’re probably sick of him since you just watched him last night, but I bet he’d still love to see you.”

  Maddie snorted, finally flashing me a grin. “You know I could never get sick of Sam,” she said. “I still don’t know how you managed to raise such a great kid.”

  “I didn’t,” I quipped. “I had a terrible kid, and I traded for this one.”

  Maddie rolled her eyes but didn’t respond to that. Again, I could see the hint of a smile on her face.

  The truth was, we would both breathe easier once we didn’t need to have guys from the MC waiting outside our front door, ready to intercept any unsavories who might try to come to bother us. But complaining about things wasn’t going to make any difference.

  “So how did things go last night with Cameron anyway?” Maddie finally asked. She had held off asking me any questions the night before. I had arrived home late, and I think we both wanted to just head to bed. And today, I could tell that she had purposefully not asked, as though if she didn’t ask, she could forget all about the fact that I was apparently tangled up with a man from the most powerful MC in the state.